alangizi

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alangizi

Postby kat » 21st July 2012, 12:14

recently the older women in our family agreed to send the younger girls of the family to the alangizi who taught them about 'dancing' and mutilating their privates to satisfy their men. i would like to hear from the man if they care about those things because some of the moves i saw dont even look like they are physically possible to pull off with someone in 'you'...
kat
 

Re: alangizi

Postby Sheet » 21st July 2012, 15:18

I can appreciate the moves, how ever impossible to pull off. But it is a misconception to think the mutilation is for the man's pleasure.

The mutilation is to ensure that sex will always hurt for the girl. And so she will never be tempted to have sex with other men for fun or for any other reason except this "obligation" to her husband. That's the cruelty of this mutilation bullshit.
Sheet
 

Re: alangizi

Postby Mebo » 21st July 2012, 16:32

when you say 'mutilation' what exactly do you mean? Its not malepe right?

And if its the mutilation that I know is happening in other countries, then that is lethal ah!!!
Mebo
 

Re: alangizi

Postby Efi » 21st July 2012, 17:54

Mebo

malepe ka? lol. kale iyo word kekeke. my little sis was asking me about it, just didnt know what to say. whats the whole purpose for them ayi? if you're married maybe kuti wanjebako
Efi
 

Re: alangizi

Postby Sheet » 21st July 2012, 18:52

Mebo,
In this context, mutilation generally refers to FGM. Female genital mutilation. A remnant of barbarism still practiced in Africa and some middle eastern, God forseken countries.
Sheet
 

Re: alangizi

Postby Mebo » 21st July 2012, 20:08

Efi dear

I was once married to a foreigner and he never understood them so we just ignored them, that was a couple of years back. But this year, I asked a friend of mine who is also married to a foreigner but had to go through the whole 9 yards of marriage teachings (they got married in Zambia) and she told me they have a part to play in sexual activity and that they enhance sexual feelings for both man and woman. Not sure how true this is though. Am not so much onto them to be honest.
Mebo
 

Re: alangizi

Postby kat » 21st July 2012, 21:35

yes i mean the lepes.. the alangizi make such a big deal of them but i wonder abasungu dont do that they have good sex lives still.
kat
 

Re: alangizi

Postby Mebo » 21st July 2012, 21:49

My point exactly Kat...
Mebo
 

Re: alangizi

Postby mukolwe » 22nd July 2012, 01:30

hey kat n mebo....shani?

something that i am not very proud about myself is the lack of knowledge in some of our traditional stuff.

regarding a woman being taught now to handle her business in bed isn't a bad thing at all. however, what i don't appreciate is the fact that women are taught all these moves and stuff, while a man isn't really taught anything. if anything,if anybody needs lessons in that dept. it' s us me because the woman's anatomy is way more complex than ours, that coupled with a woman's emotion, it can be a daunting task. for a man it takes very little to satisfy him sexually. that i have a problem with because we learn our art on the streets from our peers, who're pretty clueless themselves lol. if these lessons are taught to both men and women that would be great.

the genetal thing, i think it's a personal thing, some men like the lips small, they like the innocent/baby look while others like the big/long ones because they signify that you're with a woman. i like the later. i don't know if they make a difference though when a man is in, i don't recall the last time i got involved with someone with big lips i was very young and didn't know anything about these things. i miss that, haven't been with a zambian woman in ages. ladies, does it make a difference, it terms of enhancing the excitment?i would think so because the larger they are the larger the area is and thus more nerve endings and stimulations. i don't know if it's only zambian women who do the malepi or whatever it's called. i recall one time i went to a nude beach with my love and we saw this women they were really long and big, but she was brazilian...

when it comes to intimacy, here's what i know to be the truth, a lot of white men like african/black women because of the way they move in bed. and white women like african/black men due to their larger than average packages. i like our african/black women because of their rich skin color, their white teeth, the way they stand by their men during hard times, oh yeah, and their round booty as well, i like that lol

the moves make a difference to the man during intimate times. the more the woman moves her pelvic/waist the more stimulation the man gets so yes it does make a difference, but i don't think this can only be learnt from traditonal, even dancing like slow jamaican whining or angolan kizomba can teach a woman to dance, the same dance is translated into the bedroom. so yes moves do matter, i'm sure they matter for you ladies too right?

kalebalika mukwai
mukolwe
 

Re: alangizi

Postby Mebo » 22nd July 2012, 02:06

Hi Mukolwe

I agree with you 100% when you say this wedding traditional teaching is so one sided. I also get upset that there is so much pressure on the woman in his regard. A marriage will only work when there is input from both the man and woman.

I personally don't believe in this alangizi because they think we as women are the be all and end all in marriages - sorry alangizi but God is!. They forget that a woman cannot claim being married without her getting married to a man. Thank goodness I haven't been through such rubbish. And they never defend the woman when things start going wrong in her marriage instead, they torture her by pinching her thighs badly, rubbing salt on them and like that wasn't enough scald the poor girl with hot water... Evil creatures deserving prison and key thrown away!

As for vijayjay lips I think they play a very limited part when it comes to excitement to be honest. Whether a woman has them or not the nerve endings are still there and she wouldn't be missing out on anything really. They just make the whole arrangement look awkward if you ask me. But having said that, they come in different sizes and some women have long ones naturally without manipulation. Ask any midwife in those developed countries and they will confirm that some foreign (as in abasungu) women have them and others don't. So as women we shouldn't really fret about such trivialities as long as we get the 'job' done and do those moves, that should make him happy.
Mebo
 

Re: alangizi

Postby mukolwe » 22nd July 2012, 02:45

mebo you're right. at times i feel like emphasis is put in wrong areas. i have no argument on practices that teach a couple ways to keep the fire burning in a relationship.

yeah just like anything else comes in various sizes so too do them lips. if a woman, (not girl) decide to do something to herself, that's different than being forced to do stuff.i wonder how this whole thing started and why did they stop at that, why didnt they (whoever started the practice) at that, why didn't they also find ways to make his bigger/longer or malepeshi... if they were aiming at making a marriage union satisfactory for both? i don't like the way some of our traditions are, a woman is the one who should do things to make a marriage happy, she has to put up with so much b.shit while a man continues acting a fool. i don't know how many men on this forum can honestly say they are gentlemen and they practice the old adage of "ladies first", during their intimate times, meaning that a man will only get his after she gets hers.

ba mebo, bushe what is a alangizi exactly? sorry i'm pretty ignorant with some of these things.

nakalebalika mukwai
mukolwe
 

Re: alangizi

Postby Mebo » 22nd July 2012, 13:40

Mukolwe my brother

Alangizi ebafunda nabwinga before she is given away in marriage. Their main focus is nabwinga should be able to 'satisfy' her husband in every area, but most importantly the bedroom. One can 'hire' them for something they call ukuchesha (done the night before wedding). I may be wrong so if someone has proof please let them correct me. Like I say I've never had this done to me but just saw what my friend went thru whilst I was in Zambia . Google alangizi and see what stories come up. There's a snippet pa allAfrica.com. That will give you an idea what am talking about.

To be honest I feel sorry for abana kukula and that includes my 24 year old unmarried sister back in Zambia.
Mebo
 

Re: alangizi

Postby Mebo » 22nd July 2012, 13:41

Aba ba Admin is spamming my posts. I didn't even use bad words ah! I have edited my earlier post like 5 times. Not fair!
Mebo
 

Re: alangizi

Postby kat » 22nd July 2012, 13:58

mebo you too?? i thought it was just me but my posts were also getting spamed so i just stopped.
kat
 

Re: alangizi

Postby Mebo » 22nd July 2012, 14:52

Kat don't give up... its just testing us I guess.. lol
Mebo
 

Re: alangizi

Postby mukolwe » 22nd July 2012, 18:04

thanks mebo, i googled alangizi and sure enough lots of links.

so these women are paid to perform these stuff? i know they mean well, but do they surely think that they can teach a couple enough lessons in one night? marriages/relationships have so many dynamics and intricacies that require inner understanding.

what is it that i've heard about kitchen parties having similar practices, and i've also heard that when a woman has her first menstrual period, some families/tribes teach them these things

kat i feel your frustration, there are times when a post is flagged for spamming when in fact there's nothing to warrant that and in the meantime there are posts here that have words that you'd think would be spammed but they don't get spammed. go figure lol. keep on trying
mukolwe
 

Re: alangizi

Postby Mebo » 22nd July 2012, 18:40

The thing that irks me is that people (my family included) still accept such things as norms and every woman due to get married should go through this. uuurrrggghhh!

Its one of those traditions that won't go away easily unfortunately. ifyabupuba!

Its for this reason that I really didn't attend weddings ku Zed (and don't even now) because its so pretentious.
Mebo
 

Re: alangizi

Postby kat » 22nd July 2012, 22:51

mebo too true this same tradition is whats causing ubuchende amongst our zambian men. these alangizi even tell you to expect yoiur man to cheat on you but just accept because ubuchende bwa mwaume tabutoba inganda. BS. and like mukolwe said one night??? really???for a life time??? rubbish. and yet you may find that some people will condemn you and say you are coconut for refusing to adhere to these primitivities and yet tafipanga na sense. nomatter how well the langizis claim they taught you your man will still go out prowling. awe sure THE HORROR!
kat
 

Re: alangizi

Postby Mebo » 22nd July 2012, 23:52

Kat let them do what they want pantu if you try to go against the tide, you are labelled as 'ba some of us'. Ine I have decided to just distance myself from all this worthless material. Like you say they have accepted that a man can do ubuchende and go scot free. is it because he pays bride price therefore he can do as he likes?

I had warned my mother that if I were to get married to a Zambian man, one of us will end up in either hospital, prison or the mortuary because they want us women to keep pampering the men nangu balufyanye. Awe not me! I once got my boyfirend mu chifungo for something wrong he did to me mu 2001. I broke the relationship off and left the country a year later, got married four years later and he still to this day troubles my sister back home ati 'where is your sister give me her email or phone no.' mind you he is now married with kids!!!! I warned my sister not to dare give him my contacts. Ine there are no free rides when it comes to my emotions pantu inkomapo umo.LOL

It reminds me of women empowerment/liberation.. That's the biggest joke mu Zambia! Ha ha ha ha ha....
Mebo
 

Re: alangizi

Postby Nut » 23rd July 2012, 00:26

what with the spamming?? I was merely trying to describe that thing the urine flows from and I got spammed.
Nut
 

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